How many ways have been told, been asked, been shown or felt how to be quiet in our lives? We all have memories of our Moms or Dads telling us to shush or use our inside voice. We've seen Mom's legendary finger to mouth silent shut up signal at Aunt Isabels house after you were kicking your sisters under the table. As most kids born before PS's, we've felt how the "hand of god" (ok Dad' hand) kept us quiet in car.
Why is silence golden? We have to be quiet a least a few times a day and in some very specific situations. Maybe there is some top secret Silence Program that the gov't in still testing. I think its held in Area SHHHH.
Please let me get your feedback ( no yelling please) about my Top 7 Quiet Zones.
#1- The Elevator- I think there is a decible alarm in the elevator that we are not aware of and it only goes off if you speak. Talk above whisper? a tornado alarm blasts you into silence! Maybe we are subliminally just afraid of the alarm.
If you walk in the elevator and immediately turn your back to the door, the other occupants will do the same. Try it. Gauranteed it'll work
My elevator at work says it can fit 23 people? Maybe 23 babies piled on top of each other, but not people.
#2 The Doctors Office- here's what everyone in the Dr's office waiting room is thinking to each other. "What wrong with you?" "Nothing, what's wrong with you". "Nothing, what's wrong with you." "Nothing, What's wrong with you."
If you talk to the other people waiting are we going to catch what horrible disease they have?
After the doctor has made you feel better I come out and then I have to pass all the sick people on the way out. I hold my breath and double time it out of the office because I might get sick from the sick people breathing. Sounds dumb? But I have never been sick after returning from the doctors.
#3- Airplane- can we get any closer to a human being without actually acknowledging them?
Maybe I should just hand one of the hotels "Do Not Disturb" signs around my neck, or slap on one of those "Hello My Name is (I don't give a shit) stickers on my shirt.
I only fly SU Airlines. Figure it out.
#4 Movie Theatre- silence right before the feature movie comes on allows you to hear how many peple chew with their mouths open. So many people inhaling popcorn at the same time is a weird sound, like being on a farm at feeding time.
How cool is it not to have decide who gets the arms rest just by looking at the person next to you. It's simple folks, the right arm rest is your domain. All your lefties should only sit in the first seat in the row, on the left, when facing the screen. The attendant can direct to your assigned seat if you haven't figured it out yet.
#5- The Upper Deck at any stadium in the 9th innning.
You can hear your own heartbeat at Trop field.
How quiet you ask? You and your loved one can do "it" up there.
#6 The Mens Bathroom -Hey! eyes straight ahead douchebag. Like the police, "keep moving along, nothing to see her folks keep moving."
Even a "how you doing" is not allowed.
#7 Golf- because we are not allowed to say anything above a whisper it would make me feel better if you could hold up signs with lots of exclamation points.
Its in the hole!!! Shank this tiger!!!
Why do WE whisper when WE are on the golf course? You do it. Stupid, right?
Who needs quiet, I'd play golf in traffic if I could.
the sportsfreak has "not" spoken.
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