Let's Get Cookin'

I wish I could cook. Really cook. I have some general meals that I feel comfortable cooking and people will actually eat. Me, I loves me a good meatloaf , whip up a mean spanish potato omelet or work a can opner to death by making a veggie bean chili. Beyond that I am totally clueless. Using a recipe does me no good. The description of the meal sounds wonderful and the pictures of the entrees look amazing, but when they ask me for a "pinch of sassafras or smidge of dryed onion root" I lose my mind. Who has these ingredients on hand? I'm a dude for christ sakes!

Men have been told since childbirth the bqq is the mans domain.
Fire + meat = Man!
Then why I am always a little anxious when I start up the BBQ. I think I know I know what I am supposed to do. I press the red button and hope for fire. No fire and I am shoving matches into the back of bbq like I'm violating the poor thing. After blindly lighting some 15 matches and throwing them at the bbq, PRESTO! we have fire. Then and only then, do I feel like I escaped a fiery death one more time. I want to be the chef, the one flips the 5lb steak to create flash flame that singes the roof tops but have the look of wanted to do that. Chicks dig big flames! (that sounds kinda gay doesn't it?)I love the smokey smells of the bbq & I get to enjoy a beer or two or three. I get it, I dig the whole experience but the bbq never does.
As I see it, the bbq and I have an gentlemans arrangement.
I bring the bbq fresh meat every summer and he burns it.
See....gentlemanly.


Throughout sports many an athlete has a name that make us think of our favorite foods.

Chili Davis- used to think he ate chili everyday before games. I thought I read it on the back of his baseball card. Never could find which card. Maybe I was mistaken.
My family is so proud right now.


Cookie Rojas- one of the coolest sports names ever.


Rob Deer- watched my cousins shoot and kill the poor thing and then not knowing I was eating it a few weeks later at their house. It tasted awesome.


Pie Traynor- oh pie..how I loathe you! You can try to hide behind your many different flavors but I will never..ever..ever..never like you.


Billy Beane- though your career was quite vanilla, you sure gave us a little fruit when it ended.


Candy Maldanado- as a kid I thought how cool a name that was. As I got a little older I felt bad that he had a strippers name.



the sportsfreak's timer has gone off. Enjoy your "post" game meal!