I Need Me Some Swimmies

My first swim lesson was my last swim lesson. How can any sane person, let alone a 6 year old, feel good about putting their face in the water. No holding your nose, no closing your eyes. That's not normal people. Needless to say I failed to graduate to the big pool.

Now today at 42, it is the same old Ray jumping into the pool and holding my nose before hitting the water. God.. how many pictures of that do I have from past pool parties. My nieces and nephews always laugh at that sight. Punks!

Ok Ok I know what your thinking. Maybe get one of the nose pinchers. Yeah, they hurt like the dickens and then I want to breath through my mouth. Not a good thing in the water. Maybe swim lessons- Not sure I can drum up the courage. Don't get me wrong I can swim, Just the under water breathing thing is the problem. Not sure why I like lots of the water sports then.

Snagged a cool artist rendering of Steve Lundquist at the Flea Market last week, I remember watching that dude along with Rowdy Gaines win some gold medal in the 1984 Olympics. That was the last time before Michael Phelps that the USA was any good in the pool games. Before that, we had our Golden Boy seven time over Marc Spitz. Spitz got his records in a smaller six lane pool and never got lane favoritism. He won two medals swimming in the last lane. Looked like he was swimming in the ocean the waves in the pool were so big.

All swimmers should have to swim the way Marc did. Speedo, mustache and actual body hair. Then we could really compare who is the best ever. Wouldn't that be a sight? Ladies... easy does it!


Why do the types of swim strokes have such girly names.
You have the Butterfly- hardest of them all, gentlest of name.
The doggy paddle- your girlfriend had to have made that up.
The backstroke- you ladies do love a good massage don't ya.
They got the breast stroke- Ok maybe a guy named this one.

I used to have a big fear of playing pool baseball. It was fun, but damn it was the splashiest game around. How was I going to hold my nose, swim to first, avoid the ball getting thrown or people diving at me? We played the best games in the Lombardo's big pool. Homerun was hitting the pool railing on a fly. The "Dink" was everybody's fave. The only rule that made sense was- you throw the ball out of the pool, you go get it. Poor Aunt Barbara, she thought we'd put a hole in the side of her pool jumping in and out so many times. Many classic games with Len, Mario and Ken.

What ever happen to the fashionable frilly ladies swim cap?
They were for ladies, not like the ones donned nowadays.
All men and ladies have the same type now and its hard to tell the difference between girls and boys.
Maybe the ladies should wear swim suits that are pink or yellow or with pretty designs. Why do they wear black? I know it makes them look skinnier, right ladies. But black doesn't make them faster. Speedo, are you listening????

I love the pool diving competitions. I'm not a big fan of diving myself...duh, the nose holding thing. Pay attention!
All I have to say about diving is Greg Louganis. Thank you very much.
The 10 meter platform is rally 2 mile high. I swear, see for yourself.
Recommended change for diving- running starts for distance dives. That be so cool.

Recommended changes for swimming
Why don't they handicap the swimmers by putting weights jackets on them. You know, like they do a jockey?

Introduce the Dog Paddle as an Olympic race. I can do that!

Diving for quarters with your eyes closed contest.

How bout Team Marco Polo in an Olympic pool. Think about that one for a minute.

I would love to be the judge of the PCBL- Professional Cannon Ball League.


OK kids, time to get out of the pool, now remember no eating for 30 minutes.


Do as Dory says, keep swimming, keep swimming, keep swimming swimming swimming!

Once a Sports Freak, always a Sport Freak.