Working On Working Out

I want to work out. Honestly I do. I just can't bring myself to do it the traditional way... by going to the gym. I never bought into the whole of idea of it. I did try for a solid 16 1/2 months. I lived the gym rats dream, going after work 3-4 times a week religiously. In the beginning, I had the mandatory trainer guide me through the workouts. That basically sucked! FYI-A grown man should not have to cry in front of his trainer. But things happen. After probation I had full run of the place. So I did as many as 50 people did every time they visited with me to this glorious place. I planted myself on a treadmill and watched a movie. Yes they had a movie theatre in the gym! Working out Schworking Out! Pass the Popcorn!
I first walked, then jogged, then ran to my hearts content while watching the Rocky Five-ology or the Bourne Identity Three-ology. Please let it be known that even though I only visited the theatre during my workouts, they had treadmills, bikes, elliptical machine, stair master etc, so I was a master of all by the time my sentence was up. I don't think I ever saw Gold Gym rep in that theatre, maybe we were in solitary confinement and we really didn't know it. So to all my fellow gym(nasts)who were pumping iron or working on the lat machine or the demonic ab crunching machine, I enjoyed our time together(albiet segregated).

So now I use the old fashion method of working out by just playing sports I like. Its a simple theory really, instead of riding the a bike inside, I ride it outside. Instead of a stair master, I do a hundred layups. Playing Tennis for a few hours, a couple days a week instead of an aerobics class.

I stumbled upon a revolutionary way to keep in shape this past month.
And for just 3 easy payments of $19.95 I will let you in on my secret.
But since you are friends of the sportsfreak, I will let you slide.

I call it "The Free For All, Away from it All" 7 day workout
This workout was inspired by my family from LI visiting me this past summer.

New Workout Equipment: Emily 8, Eric 10 and Joey 10
Slightly Used Equipment: Fran (45), Moms (70) and Pops (70)

Exercise #1: Swimming
I was told I would be having to swim 21 total hours, well not really swimming, it was just throwing the kids around in the pool. It sorta went like this:
Em 50 pounds lift and throw. Eric 80 pounds lift and throw. Joey 100 pounds lift and throw. Sort of like the clean and jerk lifts minus the clean.
Three sets of ten and I was done.
Got a new training method for Michael Phelps, that would be to have some kids sit on his back while swimming, it ain't easy Mikey.

Exercise #2: Water Park
Ok, my Pops are I were thinking this is going to be day of fun and sun, a little relaxing lazy river riding with a tube ride or two. Not happening says the kiddos. The stupid lazy river was not lazy and not relaxing, how can you relax with 3 kids all riding the 5 mile an hour current in three different tunnels and spray areas. God, I was so happy to see the end of the ride. Yet the kids convinced me to go two more rounds.
Hey Pops, thanks for bringing up the rear (100 yards behind!)
You were a huge help.(these are the sarcastic italics)

Exercise #3: Climbing the Human Jungle Gym
Uncle Ray was the Human Jungle Gym.
Monkey Joe, Monkey Emily and Monkey Eric took turns trying to break the jungle gym. Understand people, that the Jungle Gym is 43 years old, the jungle gym looks brand new, but is still 43 years old. All in all, The Jungle Gym would not trade his time with the monkeys for anything.

Exercise #4: The Mount Dora Death March
This is an exercise I wouldn't wish on my Mother. Wait..this exercise was led by my Mother. All I can say folks is... Mt.Dora ...August... Hot...Wet... A little boring says the kids. Did I mention it was hot and wet? If you can complete one set a year there, you got me beat.
P.S. Mommy, your favorite loves Mt.Dora, don't tell the others.


The worst part of the workout was coming at the end of the week.
I would not have my equipment(family) there to continue my workouts.

They always say you should workout with a workout buddy.

I was lucky enough to have six of them.

All the sportsfreaks love
Miss you guys