Eating Dirt

As some of you already know, I took a header of my skateboard and ate some dirt. Something I was all too familiar with during my childhood. As I laid there going through my body checklist to making sure everything was still attached it got me thinking about how dirt has played an important role in my sporting life.

I remember the park on Rose Place, where the neighborhood kids and I played every conceivable sport. It was half block long on a slant and it was rocky on the top half and a little less rocky with some soft(beach)sand at one end and hard red clay at the other plus a big ditch at the bottom on the other half. You can see it right?
There I remember my first scissor slide into 2nd base. Rounding first and thinking I could beat Lenny's throw to second was my thought, well Lenny comes up throwing a dart and I really didn't plan on sliding, so I was caught a little in between, should I dive? slide? not slide? I planted my left foot into the soft sand and it gave way for my leg not to snap in half and my body just fell into a natural scissor slide my right toe catching the side of the bag. Just like I had seen so many times on the old reels of baseball films.
To this day I always think about my perfect slide.

"Dirt" plays a pivotal role in many sports and some others it's just dirt. These are some that I thought of.

Beach Volleyball-
Funny how a little sweat and little sand turns your skin into sandpaper.

Horse Racing
The mudders were the best. Down the stretch they come, everyone's colorful uniforms covered in mud. They should have put cameras in the goggles of those jockeys.

Baseball
I can't forget Mookie Wilson stealing second base, it was at Shea in August 83.
I had never seen so much cloudy dirt in the air.

Rainy Football Game
Besides a snow game these are the most entertaining games ever. You are sure to see something happen on the field you have never seen before .
Here's to NFL Films and the super slow motion camera.

Baseball mound
This is sacred territory for the pitchers and a mine field for everyone else.
Who hasn't seen a third baseman trip over the mound trying to catch a pop up?

Soccer Pitch-
Why is that in every Mexican soccer game I ever saw the goalies area is beat to crap. The rest of the field is a beautiful meadow of green and the goalies stood in mud puddles.

Hockey
Is just a dirty sport. They hit you with sticks.


My favorite Dirty things:

Movie: The Sand Lot

Song: Enter the Sandman

Musician: Muddy Waters

Sport: Mud Wrestling

ESPN Telecast: Mud Bog Racing

Baseball Player: Sandy Koufax

Football Player: Barry Sanders

Basketball Player: Dirk (that's pretty close) Nowitzki

Cartoon Character: Pig Pen

Nickname given to me by my brother Mike: Dirt


I wash my hands of you!
the sportsfreak

The Baseball Dance

A shout out to all you wedding party dancing machines.

The Baseball Cha Cha Song

All right y'all clap it up.
tug to the right, tug to the left, straighten out whats down below, one hop into the box and hit. Real smooth.

Every body clap your hands. clap, clap, clap clap clap clap clap

wrist bands straight? Let's go
Helmet fits right? Let's Go.
Looking Good, Check it out.
Can you be clean down low, tap your cleats to the right, tap your cleats to the left.
Sliiiiide your bat between your legs! Its nice and clean.

Your need a hit. Plant right foot in,left foot in.. you sure?.
He come the pitch . You've hit a scorcher to short.
Left, right, left, right, left, your diggin' to first, the throw is on its way. sllliiddeee into first...head first. Your safe!


No please... a standing ovation is not necessary.



Here's and oldy but a goody says a five year old.

You put your starter in...you take your starter out...you put your starter in and
you hope he lasts six inning before you take him out.
You do the Pitchers Pokey and turn your rotation around and that's all the managers think about.

You put you middle relief in... your take your middle relief out...
you put your middle relief in and you pray he gets you 6 outs.
You do the Pitcher Pokey and turn your rotation around and that's all the managers think about.

You put you setup guy in... you take your set up guy out... you put your set up guy in and hope he pitches lights out.
You do the Pitchers Pokey and turn your rotation around and that's all the managers think about.

You put your Closer in... you take your closer out... you put your closer in and your sure he'll close it out.
You do the Pitcher Pokey and turn your rotation around and all the while the manager had no doubt.



Catch my next show in Vegas.
The sportsfreak has sung with the fat lady.

You Are What You Wore

Styles come and Styles go and in the world of sports that continues to ring true.
We all have that one sports picture of us, not the flattering one, that showcases our sense (or lack ) of style that has left mark on us forever . You know the pic, the one with ball cap that looks like it is 12 inched tall, The shot of you playing hoops in those gold Chuck Taylors with black socks. Yeah that's the one.

Well the Pro's are no different, I am sure they cringe when the look back to some of the choices they have made or have forced upon them.


Swim Suits have gone the way of little teeny tiny Speedos to a one piece version with fish scales sewn into them. The sport used to be very manly(Marc Spitz) now I can't tell the difference between a man or woman. Please go easy on the swim caps, way too tight. What do you say we bring back frilly ladies caps. They were all the rage at the swim club in the seventies.

Hoop shorts 1970's nothing to the imagination style or Fab 5 trash bags?
Can't we find a happy medium guys.
Girls.. the shorter the better. Nothing worse that seeing a uni hanging to a girls calves.

Baseball unis- Baggy was best. Late 70's Cincinnati Reds were the neatest even with Pete Rose on the team. They sported the belts and everything.
Today.. Felix Unger needs to be in charge of the uni's.

Volleyball players in the beginning sported popular neon tanks. Hey, they matched your sunscreen on your nose.
Nowadays the boys and girls are playing the sport almost naked. You gotta love a sport where the uni is so small the endorsements have to be spray painted to the athletes bodies. I can dig it!

Track athletes have figured out that Less = More. The less they wear, the more fast they run (I know I know, speak English Ray). I love the change over from the Mary Decker frumpy wear to the Flo-Jo- leotard. But it still hurts my head from seeing Carl Lewis wearing a blue jump suit leotard stretchy job.
Extra Note to all track guys, No midriff should be showing when in uni. You can showcase your ten pack abs after the race.

Hockey Pads have transformed Goalies looking like robots to real Stretch Armstrongs.
In what sport does your uni look better with blood on it.
Hockey jerseys are the most unflattering piece of clothing to wear. Prove me wrong.

I am a big fan of the NFL having the strictest uni rules in all of sports.
They even have a towel fine if you towel is too long? Play by the rules Big Boys.

Tennis has gone from long white pants and shirts to white shorts and white dresses (fav Chris Evert) then into some warped kaleidoscope of colors that even you couldn't have imagined while on shrooms. I give a (punch you in the head) Thank You to Andre Agassi. You started it and now we can't stop it. Cat suit? Capris? Fashion statement or not? You decide. I'll keep my eyes closed.



Here's to the all the sportsfreaks sporting jorts and mesh half shirts.
My eyes are burning!!!!

Opening Day....Finally!

Opening Day is here at last.
For some, last years heartache can be forgotten.
For others, it's a new year (at that right Cubbie fans?)

See ya soon March Madness, we will miss you but not as much as I as I missed my boys of summer.

Batter Up! Yanks-RedSox: Love the match up.
On Sunday Night- Not so much.
Monday day games are the real start. Some things don't need to be changed.

Let's play two is not enough.
How about 13 games of pure joy in one day?
Work? forget about it. I'm Half-daying it. How bout you?


We get to hear the National Anthem played 13 times.
Take Me Out to the ballgame too.
God does love me.

Can't wait until I see the first player run out a triple.

Predictions, forecast, premonitions, good calls or bad calls for us to ponder.

Will we be bitten by the injury bug this year?

Which rookie will surprise us all?

Can the Pirates break .500?

Will people continue to pay $2500 for a seat at Yankees Stadium. When does the buy one get one free sale begin?

Can the Marlins draw a crowd of less than 1,000 again? The Marlins still play in the majors right?

Not sure how I feel about instant replay yet.

Go Rays- only because they have the same name as me. It get's me in the game free one time a year.

Will the Cardinals hit the most home runs this year? "help" from McGwire, I'm just saying.

Here's to hearing Ronan & Bob in the Bronx and Vin on the left coast.

May the RedSox lose 121 games.
May the Dodgers one and done star strike out 250 times(not naming names)
Sorry but the Pirates and Marlins will again go down in flames.
Yankees Win #28 is surely a headline I will frame.

Looking forward to a Dodger Dog, A Schimtters in Philly,
an Ichirroll and a Sonoran Dog in SD. Delicious!!!


Is it ok to cry on Opening Day?



At least for one day all will be right in the sportsfreaks world.

PLAY BALL!