Rain Delay

Due to inclement weather, my tennis sessions this summer were cancelled five weeks in a row. Hey Mother Nature...you are making it tough to keep in shape. (I'm not fooling with ya.)
So what do I do? Some other form of excercise? Naaaah.
To me it was like a get out of jail free card. It was now quality time for Ray.
A time to grab a pizza and catch a game I tivo'd.
Score update: laziness 1 exercise 0

Weather plays havoc on all sports. But what the players, fans and sportscasters do during those delays always seemed more interesting.

Baseball-
During a rain delay, we the fans at home are usually privied to the networks switching the broadcast to a movie from the 1980's... because watching "On Golden Pond" is exactly what I wanted to watch instead of the Yanks/RedSox game.
Just show Field of Dreams. "If you show it, we will watch it"


I've always loved the grounds crew pulling out the tarp to cover the field when it rains. It brings fond memories of 2nd grade gym class when we as a class had to lift a giant parachute up and down as fast as we could to create a huge air pocket under it and then all 30 of us would sit underneath it. OOH... AAH...where's my drink box?
The tarp as much as it is to protect the field it also becomes a stage for some players. My favorite tarp show was performed by Rick Dempsey, of the Baltimore Orioles, his antics recreating a home run trot while sloshing and sliding around the field was truly hilarious. Searching high and outside for video on the world wide web has come up empty. Sorry Sport, youtube does not have everything.
I've included a pic for those who've never seen it before.
For those of who did see it.. We were blessed.



Football-
Lighting schnightling, you NFL (never fuck w/ lightning) guys play in weather the postman won't deliver in and you wimp out when a little 1,000,000 volt bolt comes at you. For once just think of the fans, it would be awesome for us to be cheering for you as you scamper through the ankle deep water on your way to the end zone and BOOOOMMM!!! you are struck down at the one. Think of our needs once in a while
Troy Tice a high schooler did it. Why not you?



This dude and his uni were toasted like a pop tart!
Cleats popped right off his feet!

Bowling-
Does water dripping from the ceiling count as a rain delay?
It's bowling! Sure it does.
Wait, isn't it (a rain delay) part of the sport already. Allow me if you will, You've got three seconds of action. Then a delay for 90 seconds to rest, powder your sweaty hands, towel off the soles of your shoes, tape your fingers, tie your shoes, adjust your stick-on sponsors patches and wink at your pretty 300 lb wife in the stands. Then three more seconds of action. Then another delay of 90 seconds to drink some Gatorade, do a few sqauts thrusts, adjust your wrist guard, comb your hair with your hand and apologize quickly to your wife for your three seconds of action last night.


Soccer
Whether it's raining or pouring out, I'm sure those guys are still going to fake falling down. It least now we can grade them with points on their dives.
Ex:
A 10 for a clean entry into the water soaked field
A 5 for too big a splash
A 2 for over rotation/acting.

But in ways we don't normally see in the US, the crowd will react harshly if players are graded unjustly. Police (score keepers)paid the price in this clip.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3LVgeOTjqg


Badminton-
OK.. OK.. so Bad-M players, never have to go through a rain delay.
The best we can can come up with is an air-conditoning delay.
Bad-M players will throw a really big temper tantrum if even a small AC breeze is felt. We are delicate creatures.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZ2k-tsX5KE
Can you imagine if the AC went on in the middle of this???



The forecast calls for 100% chance of more sportsfreak.

And1 and a 2

Scanning the tube makes this post possible for all freaks.
What ever happen to the AND 1 basket ball tour, you know the basketball tour where the ballers could showcase their talents as the tour came into their hometown. Maybe even have a chance to play in the exhibition game or be offered (the holy grail) a chance to play on the tour. Unfortunately, what I came across on the box was the watered down version: The Ball Up Street Ball Tour.

What I gathered from this was that all the present and former great AND1 players have been demoted to the Ball Up street Ball Tour or we ought to just rename it to the Street "D-evelopment" League.
Quick question! Are they now riding around in a van instead of a bus?

How weird were the introductions? This weird: male stompers cheering and welcoming the players. Not your scantily clad cheerleaders my friends. Stompers!
Dude Wanna Be Stompers! Like they were hired from the GAP!
Then the players high-fiving those dudes as well... awkward? Nah...that just made me feel bad for them.

I loved the fact that Dennis Rodman was one of the coaches. Loved it more when they intro'd him and he had the look of "AAh YEAH! I am getting 10G's for leaving the bar early and raising my hand up to wave to the crowd two times".


Things got a little worse during the National anthem:

Sin #1: it was sung by Stefano Lagone of American Idol Fame (finished 7th, Season 10) Who says that AI can not take you places!

Sin #2: shame on half the crowd for disrespecting Stefano in the beginning. That Span-Italian boy brought the anthem home!

Sin #3- pro Baron Davis didn't take his hat off. Big contract = little respect.
Go play overseas!

Sin #4- saluting the flag with your hands in your pocket?
(THIS ISN'T HOW WE DO IT!)
(could help but sing that part)

Commentator Roger Lodge: you were better hosting Blind Date.

Can't understand it, the inner city kids seems so drawn to you(says the sarcastic SF)

We all know who Globetrotters played: the Washington Generals
Here we got Team Ball UP, ok its their league name. I can live with that butthey played against "Dennis Rodman's Team". That's a "D minus" League name in my book.
Was it too hard to name them "The Worms" or " Men who wear dresses".
That's my contribution.


I end this rant with one thing left to say "The Worm has left the building".
Coach Worm left this game with 7.5 minutes left. Can't miss last call y'know.


The sportsfreak will keep hoisting them up them for you.

I think I'm getting a cramp

My friend Rob asked me to go jogging with him last week. Being the bestest friend ever, I agreed to a running date. What? Never mind. I would suggest to anyone who has been asked to run, find out, I mean really find out if that other person can run. I thought I knew how to read peoples athletic abilities, you know like having super hero powers. but those powers absolutely failed me on this one.

I was doomed from the beginning when he came out dressed like he was ready to run a marathon. I am talking the Addidas sweatsuit (with rip away pants) $1500 running shoes, head band , water bottle attached to a belt (what moron invented that damn thing), meanwhile I styled the basketball shorts, high tops and tshirt I woke up with on. I was gonna win ugly.

Now in my hey day, I could squeeze out five or six miles. That's where the Ray- ometer stopped. Rob said he was fine with that. Now let me tell y'all that I was not fully truthful to Rob when he asked if I ran. I did run..well..ranned...ran.
Many years ago, I got the bug to run. At first it was easy peasy lemo...fuck me...it sucked from the beginning. Lasted about two years and then I smartened up or got lazy. Smartened up sounds better right?

I had no stamina the first few weeks. Then ....Stamina became my new friend. It was like a drug man. I couldn't get enough of that dude. What they say is true. Running does give you a high. NOOO you Stoners, not munchies high. Christ..focus.
The bad thing about stamina is that one minute he is your friend, the next he is your stomach holding, side splitting, I am going to die friend.
I remember that bastard as I was running the final leg of the 6th grade 600 yard dash. I went from cruising to crawling in 50 measly yards. Pathetic.

Have you ever watched the Hawaiian Iron Man Race? There are like what? 7 million people who run that damn thing. Me not being one of them. Every year I watch this and am amazed at the different types of people who run the race. The mom with two jobs and six kids, the son running in memory of his grandpa, the ultra marathon freaks, the dad pushing his son in a wheel chair and pedaling his bike because his son has lost both his legs in the war. Most inspiring thing I ever saw.

I'll let you know I a tried my very best to keep up with Rob. He even did the pant thing and tucked them swiftly in a jogging bag he brought with him. Dude was channeling a metro sexual version of Rain Murphy. Two miles in I gave up while waving him to continue while wondering to myself "why are there pliers pinching my side?"
Sadly Rob and I broke up after one running date.


If you think you can't do something, just look round folks. Other people are doing it. That should be motivation enough.



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